Where are the tears?

We are moving in 2 weeks and none of it feels real. I'm not sad, or stressed or anything. What is wrong? I should be sad, I'm leaving all my friends, my soccer team, my church, my community. Why am I not feeling anything? Am I afraid to let it out, I don't think so. I haven't done this before and maybe thats why there aren't any tears, I don't know what its going to feel like. I don't have anything to reference to. So for now, I am just living life like I normally do. Weird.

a few pictures from last week (pre hair cut)

Did I mention we cut Nolan's hair?!

She's on the move

Audrey is pushing up on all 4's and has taken a few forward motion "steps". This girl is going to be crawling by 6 months.

She already is scooting backwards quite well. She scoots til she gets stuck under the table or chair, or couch.

Nap time

Why do kids resist naps? Chris tells me how tired he is and then fights to stay awake during nap time. The poor kid is so exhausted by dinner he can hardly function. The (few) times he does nap during the week, he is such a happy, sweet boy. How can I get this adorable little boy to sleep? What are your tricks for getting a very tired almost 3 year old to take a nap?

seeds and soil

On Sunday they were talking about seeds and the kind of soil it lands on and I've been thinking a lot about that this week. I feel like I used to be super soft soil that would absorb whatever was taught and now I am a little more hesitant. I think in some ways its good, because I make sure what I am believing is true, and I'm believing it because I want to, not just because someone told me to. But I also feel like I have to work so much harder at getting closer to God. It is constant work, kind of like marriage. Its really hard work, but the relationship is worth it. I think because I have to work at it, it is a stronger relationship, one that has had ups and downs. The funny thing is the downs are what seem to have brought me closer, going the through the downs and coming out the other side still walking with God, still wanting relationship with Him and realizing how much bigger he is and how much I still have to learn. I can't expect to figure out why certain things happen and I think thats ok. I don't want a God I can figure out completely, because that would mean he isn't any bigger than I. So, I think I am soft soil with a harder crust on the outside.

So its been almost a year since I last posted. I am not very good at this blogging thing, but I love rereading it and having the memories written down, so I going to try to do better.

Having a 3rd baby is exponentially more work. I am tired all the time and feel like I don't sit down until they are all in bed at night. It is also so much fun. I love watching the boys talk to Audrey and try to make her smile. She adores them! Oh and girls clothes are SO stinkin cute!

Anyway, I don't think I want this blog to just be about the kids, I would like it to reflect me, which is mostly wrapped up in the kids, but I have a brain that occasionally works and a heart that is in love with my wonderful husband and trying to build a better relationship with God.

I think this blog will become more like a journal that I just happen to leave open for the entire world to read. (who am I kidding, I don't think anyone actually reads this)

So there it is, an outline to do a better job blogging, feel free to keep me accountable.